Wednesday, March 19, 2008

BITCH WOOF




THIS IS MY DOG ZOE - 
  • brief history of how i came to be the owner of Zoe = 
I was told that I spent my pre-pre school years under the trusting eye of a woman who I can't remember but was named 'Vera.' Apparently, I was a cheeky little rascal.  had this frowning forehead, a mop of white hair on my head, huge puffy cheeks, paired witha 'what's up doc? sort of over-bight. (Said over-bight is incredibly endearing on  a toddler, but when it is still there upon adult-hood, i recommend calling an orthodontist asap.) I was a tomboy yet my mum, gerri always dressed min what can only be described as 'kid-couture,' ; lace dresses straight from Paris, frilly frou-frou white socks and leather shoes with gigantic fuck-off bows on them, like the star at the top of a x-mas tree (except i don;t do xmas.) I didn't like socialising much when I attended ver'as day-care so I decided on day one to befriend her dog. Vera had a mini-shnauzer which had free reign in her house. I don't remember it's name, but apparantly the dog was m best-friend. On my day care graduation (tough testing time) my mum came to pick me up only to convince herself that I had gone missing. My mum began searching, whilst organising other parental figures and authorities to look for me. She literally hunted the day-care centre, the short cubicles, the day-beds, the pantry, under the beds, the kitchen...eventually she found me- I was playing in some sort of mud-pit out the back with the dog. There I was, I had ruined my pretty kid-couture and was covered in mud..now those were the good'ol days! When I left vera, I was upset and irritable, I wouldn't play with my sister anymore, I wanted a dog. I had suffered my first bout of a life-long issue with 'Separation Anxiety.' I should never partake in the reality show "big brother." Like all little girls, I got my way, I got a dog. I still have her and she's the same type as the dog that was my best-friend at vera. Zoe is 16 years old and im not 21...yeh long time, and she's a little bitch...(get it, get it) I love her like fat kid love cake..

2 comments:

eliebelie said...

This story is beautiful. I was never allowed a dog as a kid, so my parents gave me 3 sisters... and look how I turned out... lol.. Ps lover, im dying to read some of your mums writings, you've mentioned them in previous blogs... im still waiting for u to put them up on ur blogspot!! Xxx

emilie said...

zoe never stops barking. her and katrizzle are soulmates in this sense...

ahaha

x