Thursday, February 14, 2008

angels

I remember i called you my angel because you saved me. I thought of you and I smiled. I remember the first time we met, you lifted me up so high that i wanted so much more from life. I let go of reason, of rationality and my heart campaigned against my brain and told it not to think, just be, just be, just be. When you looked at me I was vulnerable, and in-touch with a path I never had imagined, of freedom, of the unknown. I remember the first time I kissed you, and how real it was. I remember how you made me face myself and not be afraid, and I am so aware everyday of how you've changed me. So, it makes perfect sense of why i'm in such blatant denial, of why im apparantly so unwilling to accept that what your doing, the way your acting goes against everything you've told me, all of your actions. I wish I could jump inside and understand and be there and say that I can hold on forever, till you deal, look and get better. But my heart deserves more than this. So what should I do. I love you still. . . love in vain just causes too much pain. I remember the buttefiles you gave me, and the way it was all ok. I remember the way you looked at me, and wrote me little lines of love through the day. I remember when I left you, my heart broke. I'm all too well versed with the time we've had away, miles, miles away, and yet part of me still wants and beleives i can stay.