Friday, December 7, 2007

LATE NIGHT. TIRED EYES. TIRED MIND.

i think im gonna make the following a song or something. i'm not sure. i wrote it the other night, but i dont rememeber writing it, i found it two days later, and i think it was written just before i went to sleep.

UNTITLED:

This might be the wrong thing to say,
Im not sure.
But I am really scared that your like a drug to me and that this is not healthy anymore.
Its not like your a bad drug, your not causing any physical effects.
Your not ruining me,
Your not making my eyes twitch, my jaw grind, my hands sweat,
But I cant say your not making my heart go fast, and I cant say my thoughts aren’t obsessive.
So maybe your like a drug.
They say that love is the drug, but what if that isn’t as good as it sounds.
Surely anything that is addictive isn’t too healthy.
We are meant to have basic human needs and one of them is love.
But what if that love is unrequited?
Fuck
What do I do?
What am I meant to say?
I cant skip the hurt, I cant make the pain go away
And youve taught me not to escape. But to hold the fear and deal,
But what if your not my anchor and none of this is real?
I cant believe how much you mean to me and yet your far away
I cant believe its each and everysingle day I pray
I believe in you, that much is true.
I believe in myself, but what if im wrong?
I don’t think you wanna see me, so im pushing for something that doesn’t exist
Im a fucking idiot., sometimes, and it clear you don’t think that this shoe fits.
So why did I let myself go down this road if all along it was never going to be
Am I the biggest fool on earth, that I believed it could work
Not to be forever, but if only for a day
But its me thats pushing and your not there
Its me thats wanting and your to scared
Its me thats free and you thats bound
And Im hurting yet still don’t want out
I just think I need to see you so I can decide on my own, whats good for me, whats stupid
What if i never get another hit, would the drug make me sick?

2 comments:

Emilie said...

man this is reaaaaallly good. i like the last pargraph the best.

eliebelie said...

this is the third time ive read this one.. and im still speechless.. i think its beautiful, and not using this word in a general sense, hear me say it. its beautiful! (im saying it with passion), i think the word is over used these days and its lost its true meaning.. uve got talent girl..
i cant wait to attend ur readings like u attended lesley arfins babe! xo truly ur biggest fan