Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Metronome-Beats-Footstep-Life



My psychologist suggested that I get creative again since I've stopped acting for a fewmonths now.. and so here I am beginning to write a story. I have no idea where to begin but all writers usually turn around at the end of their greatest book and exclaim something pompous, as if they are Rodin’s thinker in all his masculine glory. They usually say something along the lines of, “oh well I let my fingers type for me and next thing I know, the book was done, it was ultimately an unconscious investigation that I had no control over.” So, being someone who is greatly inspired and influenced by people everyday, I guess the natural step would be to do just that....write a list of inspirations so here it is:
I think it would be courteous at the very least to whomever is reading this to have some knowledge about me, and my personal bias before they go any further into my self-indulged attempt at writing.
First and foremost I would like to acknowledge Woody Allen. I was recently on a date, not a date-date but a coffee-date where my companion for the night asked me the following, “Who would your ultimate guy be...you can pick anyone....I have a crush on a Victoria’s s Secret model...I would cheat on my future wife with her...c’mon don’t be embarrassed...just tell me...be honest.” Thing is, I am trained in improvisation, so I have no hesitation in blurting out whatever is on my mind, like a turrets victim without a tick. So I blurted it. “Woody Allen.” He laughed, I scored brownie points on the date, but the thing was I was being honest. I figure if Woody is happily married to his former adopted daughter, the gap between himself and I as far as age, wrinkles and experience goes shouldn’t be a worry. Besides that, I am Woody’s height, and it takes a short person to know that good things come in small packages. The character I most relate to of all time, would have to be Annie Hall, her impeccable and influential style, her waifish yet boisterous good looks, her witty personality..she is me..as far as I am concerned Woody and I would be set. Some sort of proleptic irony (I’m very wise), gives me the sense that we would also cause each-other even a greater degree of neurotic agoraphobia that we both already have, which would ultimately lead to our imminent demise as the perfect couple. So, instead of pursuing my love for Woody, I’d rather be sitting on this date, letting the guy I’m theoretically meant to be cozing up to, know, that my ultimate man is four decades older than him, generally ugly, and considered nuts. In other words, he was in with a big chance.
The second major influence on my life would have to be Brad Pitt. No, no, actually I’m lying he isn’t but wouldn’t of his name been a little better to drop on the date, instead of Woody Allen. Besides that, Fight Club is an excellent film, so check that out if you have a chance.
It is really awful to admit, but as I said I have a background in improvisation and the next inspiration that comes to mind is Melrose Place, the T.V. show, written by Darren Star, who later went on to make the infamous Sex and The City, I love MR BIG! Which I refuse to admit inspired me at all, purely on the grounds that I am choosing to be different. The show was set on Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, and I still would like to live there someday, but these days it would be because there are plenty of good vintage shops there, such as ‘Decades,’ (i could buy vintage Hermes there and pretend I was better than other people) how pathetic would that be. Melrose Place and its long run on the TV is purely indicative of a very beautiful, care-free, easy, thoughtless time in my life. I got to watch the drama every Tuesday at 9:30 pm (way past my bed-time) on channel ten without actually having to live any of these issues. I was about ten at the time, so it is understandable that the sheer thrill of watching adults with the maturity of someone my age, but the responsibility of an adult was something that was really exciting. Perhaps, Darren Star really had the ten year old market in mind when he wrote the show. Anyway, my mother and I used to sit up every Tuesday drinking cups of tea engrossed in the phenomena that was Melrose Place. I remember when a certain character named Kimberly (Marcia Cross, who is now on Desperate Housewives) raised from being buried alive and came back with a vengeance, it caused many a sleepless night for me and perhaps now can be the reason I still suffer from anxiety. I think watching Melrose Place was the first time I found myself turned-on by a sex scene, perhaps now that is the reason I have bedroom troubles, but more of that later. All in all Melrose Place was very inspiring to me as a child, perhaps it was a little damaging, who knows.
What inspires me is not necessarily human, because as some philosopher’s argue: we are not human, so i figure it’d be nice to talk about a city as inspiration. London. The tube in London is amazing, there is nothing like the sheer engineering genius that is the London underground. In around July 2006 (last year), I went with my beloved best guy-friend Jarrod, to Europe. We went to London, Marbella and Paris oh and then we shopped till we dropped in Hong Kong. But mostly, we went to London. My heart now belongs to London. London is an absolute inspiration to me, I’m being deadly serious. I went to a psychic a few years back, she told me that I should write and that my ex boyfriends was an ass (no surprises there), and in London I found myself writing, on the train....who would of guessed? I’ve lost everything I wrote; mostly it was about all the freaks and geeks that surrounded me, purely judgmental crap, nevertheless I realised I could write in ye’ol London town. Coming from where I come from, having a car, it seemed oddly thrilling to hop on a train and be wherever in about forty minutes, in retrospect its totally no that thrilling and I would choose my car over the train any day, but at the time I thought it was mighty cool. I soon went to paris and met this cute guy, after spending some time with him, I realised he could not kiss for shit. Rule 1- learn to kiss properly or its over before it began. I felt rude saying he couldn’t kiss (hello Vampire!) so I told him I was a lesbian. Thing is, part of me thought I may have been, you know when you believe your own lies. Anyway I’m straight, but what else was a girl to do. Ironically, my travel companion Jarrod came out of the closet that trip.
I have to meet Jay Leno before I die. His chin is the single most phenomenal work of Gods creation that I have ever laid eyes on. I would like a sit down lunch with him, we could talk politics, and he could humour me. However, to be honest to myself all I really want to do is hold his chin, grab it like a paddle-pop stick or a dick and just then say ‘it was nice to meet you.’ That would be ultimate; Jay Leno’s chin inspires me, every time I turn on the TV.
Kandinsky, Monet, My Nana, Oma, Popa, Papa...they all inspire me too as does Cate Blanchett, but I feel like I could keep writing about who inspired me forever, an ode to anything and everyone that has made me smile, laugh or cry at some point in my 20 years of life and that all would be just too boring. So, my inspiration list will stop now. Over. No more inspirations to mention...

4 comments:

Emilie said...

i really like this. the most natural of your entries, it reads so in sync (quit playing games with my heart) to the way you speak in that distinct 'train of thought style'. far better then NW i will never read such uninformed filth again...

annie hall is indeed a gem, not the biggest fan of kandinskys pallete, but spot on with mellrose. any creative force beind SATC is exciting by me.

my thought of the day striaght from me to you, miss sunday soda love. xxx

Emilie said...

also i am sneakilly trying to decipher who the mstery date might of been. im pretty sure i have it...

Tara said...

Have read all of your entries but this is the best my friend. All you need is me as your editor (that so should be my career) and perfection!
Good stuff, really enjoyed it. x

Simon said...

Katina.. we - the many fans of your blog - are not convinced that you'd prefer to be with Woody Allen that Brad Pitt. Nice try though.