Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Feel the burn, its ok.

Something that has been on mind recently is the idea of 'being hurt.' Now being hurt can be about a number of really different things.

Being hurt can be about a x-game tumble incident in which some rampant fool in all black decides it would be genuis to attempt to skate the ramp of something on a sharp-angle with no experience, no money to buy like knee-pads or helmut but apparantly enough money to buy a video-camera, and enough prepration getting stoned asking there friends to come along with said video-camera , egg them on and shoot it, (hell everybody wants to be famous!?!).

Being hurt can happen when some other rampant fool (or perhaps the same one)decides it'd be genius to see who can out-drink another fool in a drinking contest. Next thing you know, the paramedics have been called in, because fool 1 or fool 2 forget they recently had throat surgery (being too drunk they forgot naturally) and ripped some internal fucking stictch by spewing too hard from too much alcahol. Either way both fools will wake up hurt, because 1. theyll have a headache. 2.there stomach had been pumped the night before and 3.there respective girlfriends have just dumped them cause there other friend had a video camera of them playing with some random in an allyway and decided it'd be intelligent to post it on youtube. (hell i mean everybody wants to be famous)

Being hurt can result in both physical, emotional and mental injury. It can happen with drugs, accidents, falling over and losing the love.

So one of my friends were talking to me today about being scared of getting hurt. Said friend was scared of letting themselves fall in love, because it may lead to being hurt. And this got me wondering, we can anticipate pain, we can prepare for it, we can avoid it, we can run from it, we can pretend we dont notice it, but in the end getting hurt is like the spider thats somehow crawled into our car and we dont know what the fuck to do about it.
I went for an amazing brazilan wax one-day, i drove there and got green lights all the way, thought to myself 'what a lucky day'. I found an amazing park right out the front, the sun was shining and so was I. I walked in and my beautician was running on time. Everything was perfect. I left my appointment, and the fear of the brazilian wax had proved just a fear, it hurt a bit, but not really anything like i'd revved myself up to anticipate. I got into my car I turned the ignition on started driving, looked into my front mirror and there it was 'spiderman', no shit the spider was so big it was like a midget man. I began to sweat, I began to panick, I locked the doors (why?), I turned the air-con up and I started driving. I shook the whole way home, I nearly drove into a bottle-shop, the man that worked there laughed at me and told me he couldn't help, I got jammed behind traffic, all the while keeping the eyes on midget-spider-man. I sped home, got the FUCK outta the car. I locked the door, ran into my house and started shreaking like id just witnessed a murder. I started crying, by this stage I was sweating so hard (did i mention I never sweat, even when i train) and I couldnt breathe, all because of a fucking midget spider man. I did not get into my car for 5 days. Now I did get into it eventually, I was scared, I mean man I had that shit fumigated. Since then, I always look for spiders when I get into my car, but generally im fear free. Im a changed woman. And the question remains- what was I so afriad of? I'm not usually afriad of spiders, did I think it was going to hurt me? and if it did hurt me, would it really be that bad? hehe probablly!
My point is this- being an idiot like the skater and the drunk idiot from the beginning of this story may lead to being a little hurt. But I really dont think theres anypoint in going through life being scared of experiencing some pain. Life hurts sometimes, but it really is ok. I think with the right attitude we can learn from anything, mistakes, experiences. hehe I once read a quote that said 'experience is the name that we give to our mistakes.' This might be true, but I dont think anyone can go through life without having a few mistakes. Nobodies perfect, and I sure as hell would never give my mistakes back - they make me who I am. I really beleived a few years back, that I would never love anyone the way I loved one of my x's. I convinced myself I would never care about anyone again, because caring would only lead to getting hurt (in a romantic sense).I also would not anyone love me because I was scared of being hurt, and in retrospect I probablly on hurt myself, and pissed a hanful of people off. But you know what? Im so over that crap. Fuckit, if you fear getting hurt you go through life never really knowing that much about anything real to the heart. I will hurt again, i'm sure of that, and i'm not afraid of it. Humans are made with the ability to hurt, because its natural. It makes me sad that people are so afriad of feeling hurt, that they conciously try and stop themselves from feeling. It's even sadder when sub-conciously people stop themselves from really feeling, really knowing who they are and getting under the skin.

It might hurt me a bit if I try something and it doesnt work, but what hurts me far more is not trying it. Imagine if you never knew what love was, because you were adamant of not getting hurt again, "i dont wanna go through that again." I say go through it again, i garuntee it will hurt a little less, and you will learn more about yourself and your strength than you ever knew. Humans have indcredibly strength, and we are survivors, so yeah, feel the burn its ok. If it burns, it burns, but a burn does go away, it fades, and then it doesnt hurt anymore.

As for the brazilian wax, they dont even hurt me anymore, its kinda like a relaxing adrenaline shot!
p.s. - the pic is NOT me getting waxed - as if!

1 comment:

natalia said...

babe..i am a huuuuge advocate of embracing the burn..

love your stuff and your butt xoxoxox